As I logged into Facebook this morning, I was prompted to send a Valentine’s Day card.
And then as I started counting, I realised that this will be the 10th V Day since I got together with Mrs 15HWW. Ironically, we have never ever celebrated the occasion on the actual day.
Even on our first V Day, I communicated clearly my lack of enthusiasm for crowds and overpriced dinners and flowers, suggesting to celebrate the occasion a few days before 14th Feb. The bouquet and dinner still cost upwards of $100 but at least the restaurant was not packed like sardines.
So on the subsequent years, I plucked up my courage and suggested to celebrate V Day together with our dating anniversary (late Jan). Surprisingly, the Mrs duly obliged and the same bouquet and dinner started costing 30% lower.
In recent years, we have reduced our annual celebrations to our birthdays so even the bouquets have disappeared. I guess this is what our government likes to acknowledge as “the slippery slope effect”.
The Mrs has lowered her expectations so much so that when I got her two slices of cakes over the past week, she was beaming with delight.
Ok, before you start throwing brickbats at me, even though I don’t shower my wife with lots of flowers, handbags & jewellery, there is very little doubt that I love and appreciate her alot.
All My Resources Into One Egg 😉
For our investments, we are told not to put all our eggs into one basket. Or if you’re an exceptionally good investor like Warren Buffett, maybe you can put all your eggs into one basket and then watch the basket carefully.
But nobody is going to spend all his money on one huge egg. If you’re relying on that egg for dinner and it ends up rotten, you’re going to be screwed big time.
But interestingly, in our life, we often put all our resources into one egg. For me, besides the time I spend at work and my me-time, I spend 80-90% of my time with the Mrs. There is little diversification going on and she is my wife/best friend/colleague/
Time is my most precious resource and I am the most generous with it to the Mrs.
From taking a sabbatical to transitioning to self-employment to pursuing an early financial independence, (after the initial questioning) the Mrs has always eventually given her full support to all of these big decisions.
With her day job coupled with evening and weekend lessons, the Mrs is working way longer hours than me. (She often remarks that she is doing all these so I can FI earlier but I refuse to accept that train of thought.)
I might tease her often about how much housework I do but honestly, I really don’t mind. There’s a lot of gratification for me when I produce a clean floor or a clean toilet. Since I know she doesn’t enjoy these chores as much as me, it’s my form of reciprocating the support she has always given me.
And then during the evenings I am back home after all my lessons, we can then waste our time together.
Total Implicit Trust
Everybody is entitled to 24 hours so it cannot exactly be considered something unique that I possess.
So besides the control of my time, the thing that I am most grateful for in my life is the implicit trust the Mrs and I have in each other.
Our money and finances are combined. We know each other’s ATM pins and have access to each other’s handphones. The Mrs is not concerned that a lady could be visiting me when I am alone at home in the day and I am not worried that the Mrs could be attracted to a swinging bachelor in the corporate world.
Interestingly, both of us rarely wear our wedding bands. In fact, the last time both of us wore it was probably a few years ago. It’s quite a hassle to put it on every morning and then take it out at night. I also find it a big hindrance when I am doing push ups or chin ups.
So there’s no need to wear it these days. We don’t need it to tell others we are married or worse, to remind ourselves that we are already married.
Unlike the families we were born to, there’s no blood that ties us together. It’s amazing that we have chosen to spend our lives together and to place more trust in each other than even our own parents.
I really cherish this and I am pretty sure I would avoid any action that threatens the existence of this trust. And for those in similar loving and trusting relationships, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a moment to savour it today. It’s really quite a miracle.
So, am I going to prepare a big surprise for the Mrs with flowers and dinner today?
Not really, since my last lesson will end at 8:30pm. But at the very least, when she gets home, she will have a big bowl of black chicken soup boiled and ready for her.
And in my humble opinion, it’will be so much more meaningful for her to read this post than to just receive a bunch of overpriced roses that I can get sent to her office with just a phone call.